Life changes

I have been contemplating a major life change lately.

Thanks to some special blogs that I have been enjoying lately, such as Connie's from Dirty Footprints Studio which is all about living a creative life BIG and FEARLESSLY. And Rhonda's blog Down to Earth showing how freeing it is to leave the mainstream consumer focused life behind for living simply and creating a more enriching and productive lifestyle.

As a small start, I have been learning and experimenting with growing my own herbs. Albeit there are only a few, but it's still very exciting and special to use them in my cooking. I have also been growing a lemon tree for the last couple of years, which hasn't produced any fruit for me yet, but I love it anyway. Its like my little baby which I bend down to every day and inspect its leaves and branches lovingly to make sure its healthy, and water it with affection, and shoo away those pesky bullies the earwigs.

The only thing that's holding me back is fear. I am afraid of letting go of my consuming & STUFF. I am also afraid that people may not like me anymore if I dont wear the right clothes, shoes or makeup. What if I start to look tired from all of the extra work and my partner doesnt like what he sees? He wont of course because he is a beautiful kind hearted person and I believe that he sees & loves the good in me also. But these are the concerns that are stopping me from enriching my life.

How did it come to be, that I now see my worth in the things that I wear and the stuff that I have, rather than the person that I am. I have lead an interesting life I think. I have interesting stories to tell and ideas to convey, I have kindness to share, and love to give. Why do I feel that nobody will love me if I decide to just be me instead of an image I feel I should project?

I want to believe that success comes from how people remember you. Nobody will remember what car you drove in 2010, or what brand shoes you wore on Thursday 2nd December 2010. But they will remember the type of person you were & how you treated them. They will remember how you made them laugh, and what you did that made them cry, the kindness you showed them when they needed it and the delicious meal you cooked and shared with them. This is what I am going to focus on from now on andhopefully very soon it will become a true belief, and then a new way of living. Hopefully I can shake off the chains of consumer addiction.

Oh, and I made my bed this morning. How nice it is to look forward to hopping into a nice tidy bed at the end of the day. I love this post over at Down to Earth on Starting your Simple Life. Enjoy :)